How One Man Prepares to Attract Women

There's this guy, see, and he takes attracting women very seriously. No, I mean very, very seriously. I'm not sure if he's pulling a Tom Cruise-like act, or if he's for real. It's probably the latter.

Anyway, he starts lip-synching and dancing his pretty little heart out. And if you listen to the ritual he goes through before going to a "social gathering" to "attract women," you can bet that he will never end up in your bed. 

Enjoy. And keep in mind that - he is not alone.

Post Title → How One Man Prepares to Attract Women

Brad and Elizabeth's Online Breakup Email

Do you remember back in 2005 that there was a breakup email circulating the Net between Elizabeth and Brad? Apparently, Elizabeth had performed oral sex on two different men in a bar bathroom while her boyfriend waited at the bar and was worried about her.

Anyway, she sent him an email asking for forgiveness and boy does he cut her down like nobody's business. Not only does he nail her where it hurts, but he CCs everyone he knows and even people he doesn't know.

Whether or not it's real has yet to be determined (4 years running), but this breakup email is still making the rounds on the Net. Here it is, enjoy:

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way.

There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.

It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct.

I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great.

I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

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Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F*ck him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans. I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight.

The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room.

The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our asses off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,

Brad

Post Title → Brad and Elizabeth's Online Breakup Email

Why Women Cheat

By Ashley Levine

Have you cheated on any of your boyfriends? Do you have any friends who have? Chances are you answered “yes” to at least one of those questions. Which begs another question: What is going on? Why do women cheat?

We live in an era where the female orgasm is not just the “luck of the draw,” and it seems that in an effort to become equal to men, we’ve also managed to beat them in the cheating game.

Growing up, I was told that men are pigs and they all cheat, when, in fact, most of the women I knew were messing around. And if you put things in perspective, it makes sense.

Women cheat because of options

Every day of our lives, most of us get hit on by guys, some more than others, mind you, but there’s no doubt that women get hit on way more often than men do. Again, there are exceptions (the Brad Pitts of the world), but, typically, men approach and women choose.

So if a man never gets hit on and women are constantly hit on, and if both are not satisfied with their current relationships, who do you think has an easier time wandering?

Now if the man who wants to cheat actively pursues another woman, that’s no better, but no matter how you arrive at your situation, cheating from either side is never a great thing for the person being betrayed.

Why women cheat

So why do women cheat - what brings it on? Are we rotten human beings who are so self-absorbed that we can’t see past the tips of our own noses? Well, yes and no.

When women cheat, they usually tend to blame their man. It’s quite laughable actually, when the cheater thinks of herself as the victim. In fact, if you cheat, it is on your shoulders because no one makes you cheat; that’s a decision you make all by yourself.

Even if your boyfriend or husband treats you like crap, neglects you, won’t try new things, stops being fun, gets fat, or whatever other reason you can come up with, the fact of the matter is that you have no one to blame for your actions but yourself.

If you found out your guy was cheating and he came back at you with a list of the things you did wrong and told you that you essentially “forced” him to cheat, he would get a taste of your Gucci heels. But when the tables turn and women cheat, suddenly we’re the victims. That’s not right.

To cheat is human?

Cheating is something that almost every woman I know has done at some point in her life. With men, I couldn’t honestly say that they would all be honest with me, but more often than not, many men are faithful by choice and not for a lack of options, despite what Chris Rock says.

Personally, I have not cheated nor will I ever. I am of the opinion that if you’re not happy in your relationship, you should recognize that before you let another man inside you. And because I would never want to feel that kind of betrayal and I am a firm believer in karma, I would never inflict that kind of pain on any man.

Now, as for having been cheated on, I really can’t say. I can tell you that I don’t think any man has ever cheated on me, but the truth is, I will never know.

If you have cheated on a significant other, did you ever really ask yourself why? Why do women cheat? Why did you cheat? Did you blame him for it? Did you ever tell him about it? It’s tough to think of yourself as having done a bad deed and, most of the time, we console and convince ourselves that we had no other choice, but didn’t we?

So it’s a matter of fact that women cheat. We are not victims. We have come a long way as women and, while some think it only fair to give men a dose of what we have been enduring for years, the truth is that adulterous women have been around since the dawn of time. So that doesn’t hold water.

Preaching to the choir

If you’re going to cheat, I am not here to condemn you for it, but before you do, maybe you need to figure out why you would even want to, and once you do, you might want to exit the relationship beforehand and avoid cheating at all.

Or, maybe you are happy in the way you choose to live your life and will continue to believe that whenever you give in to another man, it is your current man’s fault.

But the next time you’re about to declare that “all men are pigs,” you might want to rethink that statement. After all, you’re proving that women cheat.

Post Title → Why Women Cheat